The Scarlet Motor

Red truck,

proliferate in Texas,

you carry a cargo

of Blackness within.

You are

my Scarlet motor.

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Mission Pt. 2

Nineteen days ago, I said I was going to venture out and meet my neighbors.  This daunting task has still not happened.  Believe me, I’ve thought about it.  Nearly every time I drive into the garage with my three kids in tow, I think, “go ring someone’s doorbell.”  But then the kids start screaming for what they want or the oppressive 114 degree weather of east Texas shoves me into my nice, air conditioned, but most importantly – safe – house.

The worse part, though, is when I start justifying why I haven’t gone over there…more than just using the kids and the heat as my reasons.  I use the fact that my neighbors haven’t initited contact with me as the ultimate talk down of why it just isn’t necessary to branch out and get to know the people who are literally the closest to me.

“If they haven’t tried to meet you, then it’s okay for you not to try to meet them.  You’ve lived here longer; they should have introduced themselves when they moved in here after.”  These are only some of the things that circulate inside my head.

I have challenged myself, but how do I hold myself accountable?  I thought that writing it out for the public to see would be my motivator, but that hasn’t been enough.  There are people that could use a neighbor like me, I hope.  Why is it so hard to get over my qualms?

Mission

In one of my last posts, I expressed a desire to speak Spanish to others and use the opportunity of going to Honduras as my full immersion experience.  However, I have slowly realized I have a different “mission” I must tackle before I can go outside my country.  I must first walk down my street and meet my neighbors.

My husband and I have lived on our street – the corner house of two cul-de-sacs – for four years this month.  My husband knows most of our neighbors because he is outside ten times as much as I am.  He mows and takes care of all outside house improvement.  Naturally, he meets and greets more people.  I, on the otherhand, venture out to get the mail every once in a while.  I don’t quite know what it is that keeps me in – it could be just taking care of the three kids – because I love being outside.  I wish we would go camping, but we don’t.  I wish we had a pool in our backyard, but we don’t.  I wish we could go watch a movie at a drive-in theatre, but we still haven’t.

Regretfully, I still don’t know the people that live so very close to me.  It has been on my heart to go out and meet my neighbors.  I’m that kind of woman, however, that never knows what to say and makes an introduction awkward.  It always happens.  I’ve decided, though, that I will take my kids with me to meet my neighbors.  Hopefully their presence will alleviate some of this awkwardness.  I will also not try to tackle these introductions all at the same time.  I’m thinking I will pace myself with one house each week.  You have no idea how badly I wanted to type “month” instead of”week.”

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  If you are, like me, naturally inhibited, how do you get over yourself and “just do it” as Nike would say?  If you have no qualms about meeting new people, how do you perceive those of us who are so nervous?

I hope that in a week I can blog about my first neighbor meeting experience.  If I can introduce myself to millions of unknown people online, surely I can manage one to three people a few yards away…right?